3 Reasons You Have a Hard Time Making Friends


The undertaking of making new friends can seem incredibly overwhelming and anxiety-inducing. Maybe you’re an introvert and have trouble talking to people you don’t know, or perhaps you feel like making friends is something you’ve just never been good at. At the end of the day, you are looking for one of “you” just like everyone else is.

There are three common reasons that people struggle with developing new friendships. Once you identify what’s holding you back in this area, you can easily change your approach and begin making friends that will last a lifetime.

how to make friends in a city making friends friendship loneliness








It’s Hard to Get Out There 

Once you finish school, there aren’t many organizations available to help you foster new friendships. Unfortunately, as adults, it is up to us to create those organizations and opportunities for ourselves.   

Develop a method that works for you. A good first step would be to start spending time in places where people who share your interests are likely to be. Are you a bookworm? Spend an afternoon at your local bookshop and keep an eye out for someone who shows an interest in the same books you enjoy. If yoga is your thing, purchase a membership to your neighborhood yoga studio and get to know other members of your class. 

When you do this, you are taking control of the situation instead of leaving it up to fate. Besides learning to be proactive, it can help you narrow down the best way for you to meet people whose company you enjoy.  

Starting Conversation is Difficult

In this situation, you are assuming the absolute worst. While it is certainly true that you never know how another person is going to perceive you, putting yourself out there can’t hurt until you try. Once you embrace the fact that not all of your friendship-making endeavors are going to pan out, you can free yourself of the anxiety of a negative first impression. The only way to find out if you click with someone or have any mutual interests is to approach them (not too close!) and begin a conversation. This sounds horrifying to some of you, I know, but the more you do it, the easier it will get and, before you know it, you will find exactly what you were looking for. 

You Forgot Your Worth


Everybody is amazing at something, including you. Your talents may lie in the social, such as being a phenomenal storyteller or making people laugh. Maybe you lean more toward the scholarly and thrive on pub quizzes and debates about whether or not a hot dog is actually a sandwich. Or perhaps you’re an incredible hostess whose homemaking skills are enviable.

Whether you are trying to grow your social circle or just moved to a new city and are looking to make friends, the things that you excel at (and you do excel at something) are going to be an asset; not only to you but to those who get to know you as well. Whether your abilities provide people with endorphins, answers, or chocolate cake, let your skill set and natural disposition come through. Share it with those around you and use them to make new friends. 


See Also: How to Make Friends with a Busy Schedule

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>